


The real me for you

by R5mindedgirl



Category: Glee, Kurtbastian - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-21 19:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2479220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R5mindedgirl/pseuds/R5mindedgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ATTENTION!!!!!! I'M CURRENTLY REWRITING THIS STORY, SO IT WAS TAKEN OFF THE AIR. SO IF YOU THINK: 'HEY, I'VE ALREADY READ THIS', THAN IT CAN BE POSSIBLE THAT YOU READ THE OLD UNBETAD VERSION.</p><p>Kurt has walked away from his, Rachel and Santana's apartment. It's been three weeks and the girls are starting to get worried. They call Sebastian, because they are not dare enough to  search downtown. Sebastian finds Kurt, but Kurt isn't the person anymore everybody thought he was. He hopes that Sebstian can safe him from his forced future, so he tells him his true life story. As a result, Sebastian is the only one who sees the real Kurt.</p><p>WARNINGS!: NOT BLAINE/KLAINE FRIENDLY!!! KURT HAS TATTOOS, PIERCINGS AND PINK HAIR IN THIS!!!!!! SO HE IS KIND OF A SKANK!!!!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He was walking through the streets of New York.

It weren’t just _streets of New York_.

It were roads on the outskirts of New York, otherwise known as the rougher neighborhoods.

None of the streetlights worked. Okay, one of them. But that didn’t make the scene any less scarier.

Sebastian isn’t one to be scared easily, but this was making his nerves burst.

Though, it wasn’t the scene around him that made him this anxious.

Santana had called him.

I know what you’re thinking. _‘Wait, Santana called Sebastian?!?!?!?’ _Yes, Santana had called Sebastian.

It wasn’t that she liked calling him or even remotely wanted to. It was more of an emergency case.

Santana and Rachel hadn’t had contact with Kurt in 2 weeks. And they were starting to get worried. I mean, it’s not something for Kurt to just disappear from the earth’s surface without telling someone.

Since nobody, **_NO BODY_** , dared to go and search for Kurt in the rougher neighbourhoods – Sebastian had rolled his eyes when he heard that argument, freakin’ cowards – they had decided Sebastian was perfect for the job.

That isn’t the part Sebastian is freaking out about though. No, he is not freaking out about the fact that they asked _him_ to search for Kurt

When they said they would pay him for it, he had threatened them.

He had fucking threatened them to **NOT** pay him. He insisted on doing it for free.

_What the actual fuck was wrong with him?!?!_

Back to present. Sebastian had been walking around for almost an hour straight, and so his legs started to hurt.

A quick look on the map of a bus stop told him that he wasn’t  far from one of the few parks in New York with a skating area in it.

Well, if he couldn’t find benches, he could at least sit on the half pipe.

As Sebastian was nearing the half pipe, he could make out a figure. Looks like he wasn’t the only one searching for somewhere to sit down and relax. Well, as much as a person could relax on a concrete stunt attribute.

But he wasn’t really searching for company, especially not company that is drunk. At least he assumed the stranger was drunk, when he saw him throw his head back and gulp something down that looked like beer.

He really didn’t want to go there. But  the muscles in his legs told him otherwise. So he did it anyway.

He climbed the side of the half pipe directly across from the stranger and sat down. He didn’t look at him and unlocked his phone. 3 text messages.

**From: Santana, 22:34**

_Do you have news?_

 

**From: Santana, 22:35**

_You better not screw this up, meerkat!_

 

**From Santana, 22:39**

_C’mon! Hurry up! My nerves are bursting apart!_

 

“Fucking screw you and your nerves Santana, if you are so anxious you should’ve done this yourself.” he muttered not-so-softly.

“Since when are you and Santana on speaking terms?” a voice called out. A voice that sounded dangerously like Kurt’s. Sebastian whipped his head up, and in the dark he could – surprisingly – still make out Kurt’s face.

He let himself fall off the half pipe and practically run towards Kurt’s side. Once he was safely settled down on the top, he threw his arms around the boy.

“Whoa… calm down Seb.” Kurt chuckled, but hugged back anyways.

When they let go of each other, Sebastian studied Kurt closely. Even in the dim light of the night, he could make out that Kurt had pink highlights in his hair, a lot of tattoos, a piercing in his eyebrowand a piercing in his lip. When Kurt noticed that Sebastian was looking, he stuck his tongue out to show he had a tongue piercing too.

“But, seriously, since when are you and Santana on speaking terms?” Kurt asked – _slurred_ again.

“Since you disappeared. We were all worried about you, Kurt!”

Kurt let out a huff and chugged another gulp of his drink down. “They sure would be worried about me. Ha! As if! They’re worried about seeing that their perfect couple isn’t a perfect couple.” he sneered.

“You mean….. you and Blaine??” Sebastian asked confused. He had always believed that the two were endgame.

“Yes me and the hobbit. He isn’t even worth his name, believe me.” Another gulp of beer.

“Okay, before you’re going to tell me more, you are going to put away the drinks.”

“Why?”

“Because my mission is to sober you up. Starting with throwing away the alcohol, then I’ll buy you coffee, maybe even the most expensive Starbucks. Now throw away the alcohol.”

“Would you really buy me Starbucks?”

“You know I would. Come here, we are going to search a place with real drinks instead of that crap in your hand.” Sebastian jumped off the half pipe, walked to the other side to grab his phone, which he left in the hurry for Kurt. When he turned back, he saw Kurt looking doubtful at his beer.

 “Seriously Kurt. I want to sober you up. If after that, you make the sober decision to keep drinking _that_ than I’ll let you.” He said ‘that’ with honest disgust, waving in the direction of the bag with beer.

Kurt finally jumped off the half pipe, and let the bag with beer bottles stand on the top.

“Please buy me Starbucks, mister Smythe”

About a half hour – and  a lot of times catching Kurt when he stumbled – later , Sebastian finally found an OPEN Starbucks.

“Whatever has the most caffeine please, in the biggest cup you can manage.” Sebastian ordered. He needed to hold Kurt up by now, so he sat him down in a chair and walked back to the counter.

“What’s up with him?” The barista asked.

“Three weeks of beer and now finally he’s allowing someone to sober him up. That’s why I wanted a lot of caffeine. It’s to sober him up.” Sebastian explained.

The barista gave him the mug. “Don’t pay. It’s on me, he surely looks like he needs it” Sebastian thanked the barista and gave the mug to Kurt, who was making childish grabby hands.

“Don’t drink too quick, it’s still hot” Sebastian warned him, but Kurt just gulped it down like he hadn’t drank liters and liters and liters of beer.

“Now what was that about Bl- the hobbit?” Whe Sebastian saw Kurt flinch at ‘Bl’, he knew it probably wouldn’t be a pretty Disney story.

“Just F.Y.I., Santana and Rachel don’t know this. So that’s why they haven’t told you.” He swallowed heavily and eyed his cup. After that he swallowed heavily again.

 “Blaine used to abuse me. And he cheated on me multiple times. And he still gave me the blame for everything.”

“What….. the …… fuck…..” Sebastian knew he was gaping  at Kurt, but he didn’t saw this piece of information coming.

“So I ran back to Rachel. He had forced me to buy an apartment and live there with him. But now I feel like Rachel and Santana are planning on letting him live in our apartment. To have their ‘perfect couple’ back together. Looks like I’m chained to _him_ and life has nothing to give me. That’s why I walked away. On the streets I can at least do with my body what I want, I can drink and eat what I want, and I can get laid whenever I’d like to. Of course it’s not always great, but it’s better than to live in the same apartment, and possibly sharing the same bed, with the hobbit” He finished his speech with gritted teeth and gulped another couple of sips coffee down.

“But…… What about your work? You worked at Vogue, right?”

“Blaine had wriggled himself into Vogue too. Only if I would tell my story, they might have fired him. They wouldn’t have done it just because we broke up, they all were stupidly in love with his appearance. But I didn’t want to tell my story to anybody. I’m only telling you because you might be able to get me out of this. You aren’t really a friend of Rachel/Santana/Blaine”

“So…. You want me to…… kind of safe you?” Kurt hummed in response.

Sebastian was silent, staring at Kurt for a minute or 2 before he shook himself out of it.

“You’re coming with me. Now.” He left no space for question and pulled Kurt up and out of the shop. He walked to the bus stop and sat down on the waiting bench with Kurt.

“W’ere w’going?” Kurt mumbled.

“We’re taking the bus. I live on the other side of New York and I don’t want to carry you. You’re almost falling asleep” Just then, Sebastian’s phone rang.

“Hel-” He was cut off before he could even say ‘hello’.

“ _Smythe! What are you doing at the bus stop in front of my house!? And why is that freak with pink hair on your shoulder!? Oh wait, you are taking a random stranger home to get laid, aren’t you! You are supposed to search Kurt, you dickhead! No, that’s not Kurt. You really are an obnoxious slut!_ ” Rachel rambled on and on. Well, screamed. Kurt growled and grabbed the phone.

“Berry. Shut the fuck up if you want to live longer than today. Or at least keep the freaking volume down. Some people are starting to feel their hangover over here!” with that said, he pushed the phone back to Sebastian’s ear and curled into his side even more than he was before his outburst to Rachel.

“ _It…… it really is Kurt….._ ” Rachel was completely speechless. It was almost funny.

“No shit, Sherlock! Look, I’m gonna sober him up and let him take the decision whether he comes back or not. Because believe it or not, you caused it yourself that he walked away.” Sebastian whispered into the phone.

“ _And when do you expect he’s smart enough to come back to me?_ ”

“Coming back to you is never smart. It’s even the worst move he can make. But I think I’ll have him sober enough in three days. I’m gonna shut off my phone now, so don’t even try to contact me” With that, he hung up and shut off his phone as told. He cuddled Kurt close and looked over his shoulder one time to see a person standing frozen in one of the windows.

He smirked, turned back to see Kurt fast asleep against his shoulder and waited for the bus to arrive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt has walked away from his, Rachel and Santana's apartment. It's been three weeks and the girls are starting to get worried. They call Sebastian, because they are not dare enough to search downtown. Sebastian finds Kurt, but Kurt isn't the person anymore everybody thought he was. He hopes that Sebstian can safe him from his forced future, so he tells him his true life story. As a result, Sebastian is the only one who sees the real Kurt.
> 
> WARNINGS!: NOT BLAINE/KLAINE FRIENDLY!!! KURT HAS TATTOOS, PIERCINGS AND PINK HAIR IN THIS!!!!!! SO HE IS KIND OF A SKANK!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit short, sorry. I'll try to make chapters longer in the future.

Eventually, the bus arrived half an hour later. Three other people were already in the bus. They all looked on with a weird face when Sebastian pulled a half asleep Kurt in. The couple barely sat down before the bus was riding again.

One of the people in the bus was an old lady. She looked disapprovingly at Kurt. Sebastian looked at the sleeping boy too. He didn’t understand why she could look disapprovingly, because the only description his mind could come up with was: ‘cute’.

_{What? Why are you looking so weird? The only people allowed to look weird in this story are the three people in the bus. Whatever.}_

He really is cute. The pink hair, the piercings and the tattoos all look amazing on him, gorgeous even. Sebastian had always known that Kurt was cute. He only didn’t pick him as a ‘conquest’ because back in high school, he already knew that he would end up liking him more than he thought was healthy.

He just shot the old lady a dirty look and just waited patiently for the bus to come by his stop.

When he had dragged Kurt out of the bus and into the elevator, he finally realized what he actually was doing. He was taking _Kurt Hummel_ home with him, with the intention of making him stay as long as possible. This was _SO_ not the usual Sebastian Smythe.

Kurt was pressed tight against him, they were almost hugging. The smaller boy looked so vulnerable to Sebastian; he couldn’t get it over his heart to let such an angelic creature rot away. He would make it his mission to safe Kurt from the hobbit. The creature of hell indeed wasn’t worth his name.

When they reached the 57th floor, where Sebastian’s apartment is, Kurt began to show signs indicating that he was slowly waking up again. Sebastian grabbed his hand and pulled him carefully along. He refused to pay any attention to sparks or how well their hands fitted together.

He let go of Kurt’s (amazingly) soft hand to open the door, and nearly stumbled inside. Sebastian winced at how messy his apartment was, but luckily for him, Kurt paid no attention to it.

“W’res toilet?” he mumbled. Sebastian turned around to see Kurt standing with crossed legs. The boy really needed to pee soon, or his carpet would be soaked. He pointed to a door in the hallway and watched how Kurt stumbled quickly towards it.

He had to mentally force himself to turn around again, and to continue walking to the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of water and a couple of painkillers. He walked back just in time to hear Kurt vomit.

Knowing from experience, Sebastian had been expecting this and knelt down beside Kurt, rubbing his hand over the smaller man’s back.

When Kurt’s stomach was totally emptied he looked at Sebastian in such a miserable way that Sebastian had to look away for a couple of seconds. He handed Kurt the painkillers and the bottle of water, which he took without hesitating.

Sebastian helped Kurt up and pulled him to his bedroom. He softly laid him down onto the bed, and grabbed some very, _very_ comfortable pyjamas. He handed them to Kurt and turned around to grab his own.

He changed himself in the bathroom and when he came back, he saw Kurt lying on his bed. A warm, comforting feeling flowed through his body, but he pushed it away. Now was not the time to get emotional, neither to have a freak-out over the fact that he was getting emotional in the first place.

It wasn’t hard to ignore the feeling, because it went away on its own within seconds. He saw Kurt shaking; he was crying. Sebastian nearly flew into the bed in his haste to cradle Kurt safe against his chest.

“Shhhhh. Don’t cry. You’re safe here” His attempts to comfort Kurt were –surprisingly- helping. The boy stopped crying, but still pressed himself tight to Sebastian’s chest.

“Please don’t leave me alone. Not tonight” He pleaded shakily, voice rough and scratchy. Sebastian pulled the covers over them and wrapped his arms around the other boy. He mentally slapped himself across the face to have again done something without thinking it through, because now he would have to share his bed with this beautiful creature.

He just should’ve got the spare mattress from under the bed and should’ve slept on the other side of the room. He really should’ve done that.. But no, he was sleeping in his own bed, with Kurt _freaking clinging_ to his chest.

He willed himself to stop thinking AGAIN (he really needed to stop thinking permanently or something) and fell asleep while listening to Kurt’s even breathing.

 

 

Sebastian woke up early and decided - within a split second after getting his brain back on track - that Kurt deserved a breakfast-on-bed. While trying to get himself untangled from Kurt, the boy in question woke up too.

“Lay back down, angel. I’m going to make you breakfast” Sebastian whispered to him while softly pushing against his chest to get him down again.

Kurt whined in protest and got up anyway. Sebastian was already moving towards him again when he began pulling the sheets loose from the bed. He gathered them in his arms and muttered something along the lines that he was coming with Sebastian.

Once in the kitchen, Kurt pulled the armchair from the living room in and curled up underneath all the sheets he pulled loose mere moments ago.

“Go on and cook. But you won’t be able to poison me.” Sebastian barked out a laugh at that. Like he would want to do that! He wants is to get the alcohol out of Kurt’s system, so he is basically trying to do the opposite.

After a short consideration, Sebastian just made his (in)famous French toast with bacon and eggs. He figured that something else might turn out bad and scare Kurt away; he wasn’t a culinary miracle for God’s sake!

“Apple juice or Orange juice?” Kurt mumbled a sleepy ‘Orange’, which was good in his opinion, because it tasted better with the food.

Sebastian pushed the armchair - _with Kurt still on it_ \- to the table, and strictly told him not to hold back with eating; he could always make more. Soon enough Kurt was shoving the food into his mouth.

“T’is delisis!!” Kurt mumbled around a mouth full of egg.

“I translate that as: ‘This is delicious!’. Is that what you said?” Sebastian did a little fist pump when Kurt nodded. Kurt liked his food!

Breakfast went by without a hiccup. Kurt said he fell in love with his food (he did too, which he didn’t expect of himself), they talked about silly things, and basically everything just went perfect.

“Can I use your shower?” Kurt asked while Sebastian was putting the dishes away.

“Of course! The bathroom is the room where I changed last night. Oh! And feel free to grab any clothes you want!” He pushed away any and all the possessive feelings he got from mental images of Kurt in his clothes.

His oversized vest that his granny knitted for him, his boy-shorts, his…

God! This was getting out of hand. He was already possessive over Kurt and they had only been around each other for less than 12 hours. Get a grip, Smythe!

He busied himself by cleaning everything that was left over from breakfast. Not that it was helping the, uhm, _gallery_ in his head, but it was something else to focus on at least.

“Sebastian!” he heard Kurt screaming form what he guessed was his bedroom. He nearly tripped over himself in the haste to get there.

To his confusion, Kurt was standing calmly in front of the mirror, staring at himself.

“Yeah?” Kurt nodded once at himself and turned around to look Sebastian dead in the eye.

“Photograph me.” Photograph? As in… pictures? What the fuck does he want?

“Take pictures of my hair, my piercings and my tattoos. And make a word-document in where I explain why I got that particular tattoo.” Kurt explained further.

Sebastian took a deep breath, but his voice still came out shaky. “O-okay. Okay. Just, let me grab my camera and laptop. Give me a minute to find them”

With that, he ran off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you all probably know, I've been refreshing this story. Sorry it took me so long. My school is over now though, so I have more time to work on this! Yay me!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt has walked away from his, Rachel and Santana's apartment. It's been three weeks and the girls are starting to get worried. They call Sebastian, because they are not dare enough to search downtown. Sebastian finds Kurt, but Kurt isn't the person anymore everybody thought he was. He hopes that Sebstian can safe him from his forced future, so he tells him his true life story. As a result, Sebastian is the only one who sees the real Kurt.
> 
> WARNINGS!: NOT BLAINE/KLAINE FRIENDLY!!! KURT HAS TATTOOS, PIERCINGS AND PINK HAIR IN THIS!!!!!! SO HE IS KIND OF A SKANK!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I wrote before I took it offline! Now it's refreshed and back for you all to read! So after this, there'll be 'original' chapters again! I can't wait :D

“Okay, let’s start with your hair” Sebastian took a picture of Kurt’s hair, eager to hear the explanation.

“The pink hair represents my feminism. Everybody always says I’m like a girl, and I admit to having girly…. characteristics. Next, the piercings.”

Sebastian took pictures of the piercing in Kurt’s eyebrow, nose, lip and tongue.

“My piercings highlight special features about me. My eyebrow, which I typically raise when I want to say things without actually speaking. My nose, which some people joke about because it’s so sharp it could easily stick into other people’s business. My lip, which is a part of my mouth, that as you know can be pretty harsh and unforgiving, but also sweet and caring. My tongue, that is, according to some people, pretty amazing.” Sebastian tried really hard not to get aroused by the last statement. Now he had all those damned pictures in his head including Kurt’s _pierced tongue_ and his own dick.

“Uhm... I have another piercing, but you are not allowed to photograph it… uhm...” Kurt was blushing “I have a piercing in my… penis. Write down as explanation that it’s kinda obvious why that is ‘a highlight of a special feature of me’.” Had he thought the image of Kurt’s pierced tongue was causing him problems? Don’t speak too soon, Smythe.

“Now, my tattoos. I’ll take my shirt and pants off” Sebastian took shaky breaths by now.

Naked chest, abs, sharp hips, perky nipples, strong thighs, groin... SEBASTIAN! FOCUS!

“This is a picture of my mom. This is a picture of my mom, my dad and I, and this is a picture of my mom and I. I… those were a couple of the first tattoos I got. I got them in honor of my mother, who died when I was eight.” Sebastian obediently took pictures of the portraits on Kurt’s arms and wrote everything down.

“This is a picture of Finn, my step-brother. This is a picture of his mom and him. This is a picture of Finn, my dad, his mom and I. And this is a picture of him and me. I got them because he…. He died in 2013. I was devastated for a long, long time.”

Sebastian was sure he had to have a shocked face now. To hear that Finn had died, it was hard. Even for him, even though he hadn’t really known the giant.

Kurt scraped his throat awkwardly. Sebastian blushed. When had he turned into a little school girl that stared too long and then got caught?

Kurt turned his inner right wrist up and showed a quote, written in a beautiful, old, romantic style.

“‘ _May your dreams of the past be the reality of your future’_. My mother used to say that…”

After that, it went quick. Sebastian focused, and Kurt gave an explanation with each tattoo.

“‘ _If you don’t understand my silence, you’ll never understand my words._ ’ Many people have problems with that fact, like my dad. When I was younger and I was angry or sad, I would refuse to talk. That made parenting very hard for him. My mother understood, because she did the same.”

“‘ _Every saint has a past._

 _Every sinner has a future._ ’ People used to say I was a saint, now they say I’m a sinner. But I know I have a better future as a ‘sinner’.” He couldn’t and wouldn’t argue with that fact, that’s for sure.

“‘ _I refuse to_ sink.’ (with an image of an anchor). No matter how bad things go, I won’t sink to the level of, let’s say, murderers.”

“‘ _Everything has beauty_          (in black ink)

 _But not everyone can see_ ’(in white ink, so it was barely readable). It is my way of saying that all those people who once called my ugly are wrong. Everything has beauty, for example: Hitler was a very ugly man on the inside, but he wasn’t bad to look at (if you look past the hideous mustache). And once, long ago, I met an old man on the dirty streets of New York. He was absolutely not nice to look at, but his eyes and his soul were incredibly beautiful.”

“‘ _I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees._ ’ I rather get a bullet to the head than that I do something I don’t want. Intentionally, that is.”

“‘ _It does not do to dwell on your dreams and forget how to live_ ’ I can dream of a successful career on Broadway all I want, but then I forget reality.”

“‘ _Human after all._ ’ I can make mistakes in my life, I’m only human.”

“‘ _Never a failure_

 _Always a lesson._ ’ I learn from every mistake I make.”

“‘ _C’est la vie._ ’ (Sebastian gave a cry of happiness when he found a _French_ sentence inked on Kurt’s body.) Everything that happens, is a part of life.”

“‘ _We all have scars._

 _We all have stories._ ’ Exactly what it says.”

“‘ _If you don’t heal your wounds from the past, you’ll bleed into the future._ ’ If I didn’t get over the fact that my mother and brother died, that I didn’t get into NYADA, that Blaine wasn’t who I hoped he would be, if I didn’t get over every bad thing in life, I would have committed suicide by now. Or I would be _really_ depressed.”

“‘ _The pain you feel today…_

 _Is the strength you feel tomorrow._ ’ Again, exactly what it says. Every time I take one step back, I step one time forwards.”

And the last one, which was an image: <http://www.pinterest.com/pin/491033165594357488/>

“I got that one the day I fled from Blaine. It was seriously time to let go.”

“So, this is my body art…….. and I really need a cigarette now.”

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is going to be a long story. Please review and let me know what you think :)


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